Painfully fit

A quiet burn seeps though the ass, hamstrings, quads and calves. A reminder of the run the day before, the subtle pain pleasures a certain sense of accomplishment. As if the work needs to hurt, needs to be there, otherwise what was the purpose of yesterday? Take the hard days hard and the easy days easy but if after a hard day there is no residual pain was the work really done at the right intensity? Work means pain, even if that work feels like play, so there is a hardness to the accomplishment. Beating down stamina for a bit only to build stronger endurance is the culmination of that day after pain relaxing into better fitness.

Free Bird

There are snippets of conversation, scant words regarding times and of qualitative feelings like smooth but for the most part it is a mute experience. Around thirty seconds a bout with less than a minute rest and a few bouts just over a minute with two minutes following. All in all the volume is 3600 meters hard. A tough work out but not so intense as to fully mimic the critical zone, or last 25%, of a race so there is room for comfortable conversation. Due to the staggered starts and different paces only a third of the total hard running with subsequent recovery time is spent talking. It is a nice feeling how calmly the mind wanders, with no conversation to guide it down a specific path, while the body is churning at just sub par all-out intensities. The body’s tired state can sometimes hamper but rarely truly cage the free flying bird which is the mind.

A day ahead

Road bounces through spine and up straight strong backs
Feels like winning a race, but no spikes go click clack
Shoes are just trainers; today’s a light workout load
Regardless, pavement peels open long bits if rolling road

A subtle sense of invincibility is there
So consciously it is time to take care
Save the legs for the next day's indoor track running
Cause going hard tonight will leave tomorrow a bumming

Sunsational

It is a fun run, sunny with wind, started with covering pavement that spills into the Blue Hills Reserve Park and forest on this lazy Sunday. A foreshadow of spring, acting as a reverse echo, a reminder of the beautiful days ahead. With the season of winter retreating and the days getting longer all the more reason to enjoy trails hidden in the wooded break from suburbia. Sun dapples runners rolling through this haven of nature; it is a beautiful day.

Track Talks

“Oh, I meant to tell her to focus on something sexual because it increases your pain threshold.”
-Regarding a friend that is embarking on running a ½ marathon, Jen’s words of wisdom that are both funny and true.

Pretty content

Trepidation taunts confidence. Accomplishment is perceived but not conceived so variables loom as hills on the horizon of the workout. Belief is strong, but knowledge will not be had until ex post facto. The truth is, no matter how positive the spin, or sure the sense, until the cards are played and the hand is done it is a matter of speculation. Of course, there are some bets that are better than others but at the end of the day it is never a sure thing until afterwards. Besides easy runs, today was the first time since November that anything longer than a hard 200 was attempted. I am glad to say that a great workout was done, true tempo running covering 6,000 meters. I was pretty sure it would go ok, but pretty sure is nothing like doing something pretty well.

Until death do us part

It all started at fifteen. I fell absolutely, madly in love. Butterflies keeping me awake at night that daydreaming kind of love. We met and we were inseparable. Together for a while…we were in sync and totally smitten.

After a few years and a few setbacks, things settled down and I got lazy. I stopped caring. Then, you broke my heart. Just like that. I thought I lost my most prime years to you and couldn’t ever feel love again. I tried. I reached out to you, begging for the passion to come back, but the fire was out. You left me and I let you. Eventually, I found myself crying in a supermarket parking lot; it was one of my saddest moments. I was convinced that I had nothing left to give to you and that I would never be with you again. Then a voice said that I could have you back…that I will have you back.

Some years later after hard work, diligence, just a little bit of laziness (old habits die hard) and focus on my heart’s true desire; I found you. You resisted at first but we both knew we were meant to be together. There was this residual, mutual bond between us. We needed each other, thrived off of each other and knew each other.

You have been with me through my proudest and through my darkest moments. I can’t imagine a life without you. Our companionship fills me with an abundance of joy and happiness when I think of our future.

My vow is my heart. And Running, it belongs to you.

I love you.

Always.

-Jennifer Dagan

Bodily needs

The body that is sore all day from a hard bout the previous day does not need a rest. As long as the appropriate day off has been administered at an early date, than this body needs action. Not some all-out hard workout, which would be in all but a few track training cases, counterproductive to preparation for the next difficult session. No, this body needs relaxing work. Something I am reminded of as my calves loosen up through our twenty minute run, three strides and five drills this evening.

Back to the future

For so long, mired in the quicksand of injury, everything seemed so far away. It was the past, with its slow take, that held on to pulled hamstring/gluteus. Each step was called on by that foolish moment months ago. As if the actual fibers still existed, to some degree, in that second when they ripped. Somewhere along the way since that day in early November the possibility of health started to draw the legacy of lame legs back to what they could be again. Today they are not quite there but with these big steps, all puns intended, they have gotten a lot closer to the future.

Haikulometer

Strong steps sail stronger / Fleet feet feel forward flurry / Limbs lunge long leg lengths

"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"-John Greenleaf Whittier

In two ways is the above quote applied to running. This can be examined in a spectrum of the macrocosm to microcosm. Starting with months or even years of training to weeks, clumps of days and even a single day; did you do the work? The next breakdown is about the moment, and is more like an individual domino that collapses either this way or that triggering more dominos each with a choice on how they fall. The choice is of course yours. This is not about “did you do the work”. This is about, in that blistering moment, are/were you running not thinking, because in actions of sheer soulful passion we are reactive to a predisposition and not consumed with thought; we are the moment.

Suck up

Yeah it hurts, what did you think? Maybe that it would tickle? This is the real thing, this is about finishing, and no matter what the state of fitness is the actual feeling is the same for the slowest to the fastest as long as both are giving the same effort. At the end of the race it is about owning up to your pain threshold and letting it shine. There is something to be learned about limits by watching both the fastest finishers and also the rest. Plenty of better trained and better genetically gifted runners do not have the pain threshold of the slower or “less” competitive counterparts. Fear or lack of guts can undermine all the training in the world. During the critical zone, or last 25% of a race, when the chips are down you just have to suck it up and take as much pain as you can.

Finished thought

A pause comes after, thoughts are held on gasping breaths as accomplishment sinks in to consciousness. Yes it was done, that which for a split-second seemed surreal during the tortuous moments flickering with relief that come after the line. Mind pounding with blood that is coursing through veins like the legs coursed around the track. Yes! What was dreamt about is now reality and that which is next will be in position with what was finished.

Track Etiquette

Jen and I have been practicing at Reggie Lewis on Tuesdays for maybe six weeks now. Each time we show up, there are a lot of people doing their thing, warming up and what not. After a while it is time to start running fast, and people break into different lanes. The distance runners closer inside and the mid-distance to sprinters heading further out into lanes that have more of a curve to them. Regardless, of everyone else falling into place, there is always this one college team that continues to warm up doing drills sprawling fifteen or so people, in the opposite of a single file, taking up three or four lanes abreast. Why they don’t use the area outside of the track or a portion of the infield is a mystery. This past Tuesday, starting my bout in lane four, I don’t really notice them until about 40 meters in, “Track, Track, and Track!” Booms from fresh lungs and this team of track athletes doesn’t even look back, they just sort of mill around and invariably someone steps into me. I kind of glare at them with disapproval as this track bout’s tracks are halted. A hard 200 meter rep stopped far too prematurely to start again immediately. “You shouldn’t be doing drills in here,” I bark at them and they say… nothing! They didn’t even look that bashful. I am still writhing a little bit for not reaming them out properly, not for my bouts sake but because that can lead to injury for someone else. Guess I just have better etiquette than them.

The way you carry yourself

Sitting, standing and walking it is completely apparent. Passion pours from lips and it is so obvious. But it is embodied in your run, chasing round the track off you go. Down lonely lanes you search, seeking something you will never find. No matter how far running takes you it will never truly take you back in time. You want so bad for something you can never have, and the saddest part is part of you knows the truth. I can tell, even though you have never said anything, you have lost.

Long Bow

Don’t slouch. Take that navel and throw a hook in it, pulling you forward with a chin parallel to the ground. The curvature of the spine allows the hips to be capitalized acting as the hub of lower and upper body. If you lax on this, not capitalizing on your backbone, then the center of gravity changes either resulting in a shortened stride for the same effort or too great of a displacement of the body aka staying in the air too long. Remember the bow is what you want, it allows you to go strong longer.

Day Off

Sometimes the smartest thing to do is to rest.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrun

Ready runners, roping ruggedly round ridges, ripping reps rhythmically, rapidly relinquishing, revealing ruefully; run, run, run & rest.

Thanks Whitney

It is very fulfilling, finding someone easy going and on a similar training plan. Meeting up for practices and workouts, a deeper level of acknowledging each other is developed. When heading through runs, both fast and slow, there is sublime understanding of their presence. A whisper of them on easy runs or a heavy breath when finishing a set of hard reps, gives almost constant knowledge on their position. For some this happens instantly and for others it takes a bit of time getting to know each other or what not. Regardless, it has been too long since I had a training partner… guess I just want to dance with somebody.

Running forward

With all its pressure and demands
it it still leaves rooms for your own plans
Great things to do, new places to go and yes bills to pay
But damn, life is just too sweet to savor for one day

its probably been said, but i'll say it again,
know thyself because you are your own best friend
be true to others and true to yourself
and in the library of your soul leave nothing on the shelf

You might think that's corny, even call it "gay"
then check our own thoughts, set up the replay
looking at yourself with glaring honesty isn't easy
still, live with no page unturned in your autobiography

Track Talks

"If your goal is just to finish a marathon, you don't need 20-plus mile runs in your training plan to be successful" - Coach Jack Daniels

Line Up

Work is what it is, and I love what I do, but it involves sitting at a desk for long hours with emails flitting through bringing phone calls and filing. The day is busy, some days more then others. Leaving work when tired and beat, sometimes it is hard to muster the running gumption. Mind is reeling, not dealing with goals from elsewhere then necessary. Then comes the reminder from deep within, run and you will always be grateful for what you did. This is not like tying an extra beer to an already indulgent night; this is something that ex post facto always brings gratitude. The act of running lines up hectic minds with calmer states and those stationary bodies come a bit closer to active minds.

Heart Attrack

Pulsing with acceptance and love. Just happy to be here. Fond of the whole place, finding an expression through the actions that occur here. Moments, memories, miles and more. The different shoes worn, the years of competing, winning, learning, losing and lusting for the next thing. Sometimes bursting with exertion, other times just faintly recalling what was done hours ago, I feel my heart at track more so than most other places.

Want not

I want to be the fastest I can be. I want to run the times I know I can. I want to be the best that I can be. I want fulfillment. I want accomplishment. I want goals to be met. I want to love what I have done. I want to do great things in respect to my abilities. I want to run fast. I want to run strong. I want PR’s. I want great races. I want to win! I want all that I have dreamt. Most of all, I want to be happy with what I do. And I want what I have been doing to line up with what I am capable of. I want happiness and success. I want what everyone who tries every day wants; I want my potential.

Track & Football Field

The Patriots step onto the field to play in the Superbowl in about an hour. A battle of magnificent athletes achieving almost super-human feats of coordination and excellence, but for those that have never played football it doesn’t have to be completely voyeuristic. Obviously, for the majority of the people watching today’s game this level of activity is completely fictitious in a literal description of their past experiences. But in a spectrum, everyone can relate to the wonder that the professionals achieve with their bodies in the ways that we have used our own. One of the greatest common denominators is the carriage which carries our thoughts.

Super bass

There was no race today, and the Reggie Lewis track center was closed to the public, so Jen arrived at the Braintree High School’s track around 3pm with the sun sinking westward. She hadn’t run at an outside track for over a month and this was a good day to go back outside but it was still very cold. She knows if she doesn’t get the work in today then the right day is gone. After finishing a full blown warm-up she grits her teeth and heads to where the first bout starts with leggings still on. She then gives that look, and when she gives me that look the pants come off, flashing winter white legs bared to the cold and she is gone, feet beating like a drum coming your way.

Why?

Why run? Why put on those shoes? Why go out that door? Why move, when exhaustion claims its apathetic grip? Why not give up? Why try at all? Why not push on? Why not give that little bit more? Why not be all that can be mustered? Why, because if you don’t, you will know that something was lost. And why that was lost is the saddest question to answer of them all.

Haikulometer

Legs move in rhythm
Arms and trunk respond in turn
Mind and heart unite

Tippy Toes

Stepping forward, the lead leg is switched in the exchange. Foot accelerates towards the ground and here is the piece de resistance; dorsiflex! The toes that are headed for the ground should be pointed up. This dorsiflex, or toes pointed up, aspect of the run that occurs before the foot touches the ground allows a pre-stretch of the calf. This effectively turns the feet into spring boards, vaulting the runner forward. You just have to feel it, all the way in the tips of your toes.