A singular sole

An interesting feeling, fresh shoes slipped on feet anticipating their new feel in the run. However, the new feel is just based on the feelings from past new shoes. This is in one respect or another, even just slightly, always different and perhaps that is what is anticipated. Understanding that the shoe can sometimes be very similar to past shoes but never will they all have the same feel. It is nice to confirm individuality in life.

Stridesssssssssssssssss

Striding slowly slides, surely strong steps succeed, strolling sensation sent, swirling slippery surreal speed sweeps… so splendidly special!

The tides are turning

A fun night with plenty of drinks leads to a less fun experience today, even though the merry memories of the past evening act to console the pounding inside head. Taking a long afternoon nap the run is put off until well into the night. Wearing a little too much gear leads to sweating profusely as the twenty minutes go by with a sort of purging. It wasn’t that the hangover disappeared immediately but similar to waves receding with the tide, the uncomfortable sensations inside waned leaving behind a fresher body like the waves do cleansed sand.

Aromatrack

I can smell it! Like a new car, or fresh cut grass, it is so Proustian. The air flits through nostrils and wham, I’m there. The curves the lines no end no beginning. From a child fascinated by the structure to an adult that has spent countless hours working, living and loving here. The track smells, of rubber and then sweat, in such a way that I forgot how invigorating it is until I smell it again.

Hot and bothered

Heat after heat they go. Down, wait, and push. Hard legs and smooth arms grasp what they want. With real exertion, and an undertone of love, these heated bodies surge with passion. Pounding against each other, limbs rustling as they come close, they continue to work on their own desire but often in respect to each other. About to burst, they strike deep, flailing as they come after which they lust. Then they are done, panting and breathing. The best are glad they did what they did, but the most humble wonder; how? The fieriest sprinters in the 200 and 400 meter races exude exhibitionist desire.

A hand out

Snow flakes freckle face, cold air washing precipitation into a melting frigid weather sweat. The road is firm under feet plucking away. An abrupt turn is taken so hand reaches towards Jen pulling her the way in a clutched second then released. Surprise turn is met with silence; no words are spoken as the weather spits away, just Jens hand laughingly using its fingers and thumb in a 'shadow puppet motion' to say, “Come back”. So hand reaches out again, to hold for longer this time, and a few giddy smiling strides are taken.

Archimeters

Long breathe and bend begins. Hands reach behind head searching for the bed. Navel becomes an apex, belly button at its zenith. Exhalation allows a greater flex, groin loosening and pelvis is now flared. Holding and reaching hands alongside bedspread a deep tightness is felt from head to toes. Rising up, as the lungs are almost two thirds empty, there is a deep crack in my ribcage. The back arch stretch has served its purpose, relieving the tightness in my left-side. Feeling it all through my body, it reminds me of the way this stretch accentuates good posture in the run. A strong curved backbone is integral in covering meters quickly and smoothly. To be a wizard at the run involves more than just the run.

Track Talks

"Listen to your body. Do not be a blind and deaf tenant."
--Dr. George Sheehan

Thumbs up

For over a year I hitchhiked to work. Out my door I’d go, down the rural Maine roads trailing the 20 some miles to where I waited tables. Sometimes during the winter my hair would freeze to my head after leaving my house still wet from a shower. I would walk down roads, I-pod held in hand leaving music to displace any uncertainty, and head to the restaurant. I have run so many runs, where getting out the door was 90% of the run and I remember becoming tempered to that feeling so well during my thumbing days. It wasn’t that the act of hitchhiking was so hard, nor are most runs / workouts, but rather it is gathering the gumption to go through the motions. Sometimes, even though life is being so hard, you just have to suck it up and go after what you want!

Run after honesty

Looking down the line

I laugh I listen I glisten

words make me smitten....

Cold hands are warmed in an intellectual mitten

Don’t fall in love with what could be

Always love the person you can see

Mind boggingly well

It is an interesting moment, when I used to care so much about this achievement. However, upon accomplishment it disappears into a wake of running. Interesting that what you wanted to accomplish shadows into what is expected. It is always about expectations and moments. The real eye catcher is when the moment realizes its potential. This leads to reeling with giddiness at a task well done.

Bottoms up

Doubled over, waist and stomach almost one, I reach for the ground with palms wide open placed next to feet on the floor. Deep breaths hum through stretched veins rushing oxygen rich blood through my butt cheeks, hamstrings, calves, ankles and feet. Bent over with hamstrings tightly connecting ass to calves is a real taut lesson on connectivity of the body through prolonged pronated stretching.

To each their own

Each day spent working. Something brand new to each effort, each day a needle in the haystack and each run is so special. Each moment something grabs your mind saying, what if each thing lines up and you get what you have been working for. Each thing you do is based upon each thing you have done, and each thing you will do is based upon each lesson you learned. Each run is an opportunity to learn about yourself. Each runner you can be is based upon, to a different degree, upon each run you run.

You take my breath away

It takes your breath away, cliché but true. Voice stolen for a second when first words are spoken in a while. Cold air’s bitterness, an invisible thief felt everywhere during the freezing winter runs but impossible to evade. A specter of the January night, hauntingly reaching inside your chest to own what is there. However, the voice always returns and the second it disappears is akin to quickly looking over the edge of a very high bridge, highly uncomfortable. This ephemeral shock is replaced by a surge of energy, which quickly conquers the cold leaving a rush of happiness in not being daunted by the dark frigid night.

Legs

They are just so beautiful in action. Whether fully extended or whirling at a slower clip they capture a primal and expressive action. This is exemplified during the finer tuned, regularly used examples. Those operations of mastery leave real wonder upon the viewer. However, even an inept or under practiced array, if accompanied by enough intensity, will lead to the feral beauty that is this act. To watch the legs while running is to watch our ancestors too and that bond is glorious.

Mind Eracer

And it’s done. Already gone, disappeared in the tsunami of minutes that quickly surged by, is the race. Sometimes a question oddly floats by in the essence of, “did that just happen?” A body full of pain laughs back at brain that is capable of, if even momentarily, detaching itself from the pain, “If you can’t feel it this second you will in a moment!” That’s the way it goes, it’s done, except for the pain, and you have to wait. Wait for another chance, another day, or another event.

You have to wait to do it over, but the mind that can detach itself from the body’s pain, albeit briefly, can also in a more prolonged way create a race in the brain. A race to do over again, finishing the way you want and dwelling on racing tactics. You can always look for ways to deal with problems, such as being boxed in, or dealing with tangents and thus better prepare for the real occurrences. Regardless, while the race is gone in a flash for the body it can last an eternity for the mind. It’s up for you to decide what you think about.

A Drowsy Distilling

Tired and slow but still moving, trying to do what the body says it cannot. So drained, a bed appears everywhere; a pile of sand, a cool spot of grass and a shady mossy rock. Still on go the legs, locomotives that scream for stillness. It is here in the wreckage of needed rest that the driving entity is sanitized into one understandable thing.

Striving to be better but scared to hope so

A laughable moment! Before the race starts this individual will say something to the effect, “I don’t know if I can run my seed time.” Then, after the race has been completed they have finished a hair quicker then expected and say something like, “Oh, if I only did this different I could have been a little faster!” They are lost to that just moments ago they didn’t think they would accomplish that which they now critique doing. It is the presence of the doubtful over-achiever, which rings true to me as a modest perfectionist!

Haikulometer

Night before the race
Mind drifts, visualizes
So the bout begins

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

It is dark and a little bit late, about eight pm or so. I come to my house wanting to tack on a few minutes, maybe throwing in a stride or two. Heading past my place in Quincy, down a side street lit lightly by street lamps, I start taking care of the rest of the run. Ready to turn around and then it grabs my sight; a twinkling. You know when a car drives by and a mere dot of light hits the corner of eye and so grabs all of conscious mind in an inspection? It is just like that, just like a twinkle.

This is not a twinkle of light; this is a twinkle of darkness. An underpass a few hundred meters away glows with gloom. It is the same thing, grabbing conscious thought into focused inspection. This underpass shakes me, it calls me, it dares me to run and so I start but then stop. In an instant, real conflict of mind happens as many thoughts do. Should some gut feeling ask me to run, was I scared to do it and then the mind settles with, “go in and see what you see.”

Through the underpass there is maybe eighty meters of darkness with no lights, no cars on the road, and my eyes accustomed to lighting on the street lead to contrast blindness; a term for the blindness from going from light to dark. I feel, passing through, eyes on me. I run to the other side, cross the road and start to return, once again so certain of some watching presence. A few steps into the darkness on the way back, skin prickling from the feeling of something else, a feeling starts to come out of me I know has always been there. As I continue through the black strip a deep growl comes from within me and I began the stride thought about earlier.

This growl builds from a rumble into a small roar. Through the black I zip, knowing that out there is met by what is inside of me. Leaving the bit of highway roofed tunnel behind, I emerge into the light of the street lamps again. My speed slows and the noise stops right as I step into light. I return home a few minutes later and go inside.

No time for cameras

When running, hard, like at the end of a 5k race when you have put every second on the line. This doesn’t mean going out too fast so the end is extra painful. No, this is in a race run on guts and brains. The face is so determinedly set on the line, looking for it, even when only half way. While the body is hurting, everywhere, and the mind is trying to detach itself from the numbing pain all the while willing more from its’ vehicle. Those faces set in cascades of control and wildness make for some of the best pictures. The true beauty when seeing these raw images of an individual are that they are never posed but rather are reflections of what a person is bringing within themselves; graceful pain.

Animal House

A zoo of animals in a single open enclosure ranging in size and shape. These beasts were of a general likeness, but how these figures could vary. Tall and slender to tall and thick. Some powerful and quick others light and durable. Most wrapped in muscle, but there were also creatures of less physical prowess. Furthermore, there was a constant display of a wide range of focus and abilities. Some doing things that were very different than others. If you want to see sometime, it's free. Just come by Reggie Lewis around 7:45pm next Tuesday.

Short-sighted

I was talking with a young woman today. She was lamenting her disappointment in a bad workout done earlier. She was less then a third of the way through before feeling too discouraged to continue. For a little background, this athlete is 20 years old, has a very young running training age, is very mature for her age and participated in many other sports before she got into running. About a week and half ago, she stepped her weekly workouts from two to three hard efforts for last week. This is her first time trying to do another three hard days week and she failed.

To her this was grandiose and represented many things to her running but to me it was laudable. Not her distress, which is a window into the depth of her well of passion, but rather I mock the idea of that day's performance being a long term understanding of her ability. Almost all that start the sport, and far too many that have been in it a while, fail to see that one bad day is due to us all now and then. It happens, especially when you add new stress such as a week of three workouts. The cure is simple; a couple easy days of running and then she will try again later this week conquering it and her fears.

How do I run? No, why do I run?

I hear many people quote "That which does not kill us makes us stronger". It obviously applies to, besides all of life, very particularly to running. That by pushing the body beyond its limits, at the right times of course, you can reach new levels. To make strictly clear, over-training "kills" the best possibilities and only a fool will read this quote as a license to drive themselves everyday beyond the capacity of their body to heal itself. This activity of over-training will only lead to plateaus and injuries. However, this saying pales in comparison to another, "He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how". When applied to running, you find the real truth to the first saying. The only reason someone subjects themselves to these activities is for a why. Why we do something then allows the workout to be conducted which then brings in the "that which doesnt kill you" idea. In all things, for something to not "kill" you, and leaving the sport for good is in this sense a death, you need to have a why. Find why you do a run and how to do it will be much easier.

Letting go of being proper

At the beginning of a race it is all control. Even when they go out too fast the limbs are properly possessed by the running motion. The start is a fully functioning well minded run. Then it happens. Somewhere in the race, there is a letting go of that control and a "gutsyness" comes into play. It is that release from proper form to a swaying of the body through pain to get to the finish line. A bobbing forward with the head or an egg beater motion in the arms are two common examples. Call me weird, but I think the finishing mechanics, degraded by fatigue, are often times more beautiful then the perfect running that starts the race. It isn't the look of pain and hunger in the eyes of the contestant. It is the honesty of their desire laid out for all those gathered to see that leaves me impressed.

A cold thought

1/6/12

The last few days have been pretty cold. Like uncomfortable to go outside cold, even when you are wearing a winter jacket. Tonight Jen and I get geared up with double pants, a couple of long sleeves over a short sleeve and the jacket covering it all. Midsection and legs covered but where was the piece de resistance? Ah ha is thought as we don headgear and then head out to do a light run that leads into a handful of drills followed by three short brisk strides.

About two minutes into the run the difference between today and the last few days is made more personally known as I start to sweat. By the end we have unzipped jackets taken off head gear and are still sweating. Even though we had been outside and worked full days today we had not let how warm it was register. We were still stuck in the three or four prior days of cold. I guess we were in a frozen state of mind.

Yes Brain

1/5/12

The saying is; no pain no gain. I have always taken it as you need to work hard or you won’t get anywhere. It is true, but I want to nuance its meaning. It implies those who know how to work through the pain figure something out. These individuals find meaning in the pain of running hard. They learn to love, or at least tolerate it, in order to achieve what they desire to do with their running. So maybe it should be no pain no gain no brain.

Internal Gratitude

1/4/12

So we found an indoor track, or haven’t you heard? Reggie Lewis welcomed us last night and it was awesome. Not that it is the fastest track I have run on, Boston University’s is much quicker, as well as the Armory in NYC and plenty more. No, what made this so great was that it was indoors. That and the track is less then 10 miles from our house which brings home such a sense of appreciation. It is funny how much you take for granted training, until the cold weather hits. A sort of reminder, that running is a gift you often have but it can be hampered at anytime, so be grateful.

Indoor track

1/3/12

She starts her bout running. Hitting the mark I hit the watch and she is rounding the bend, smoothly navigating around other runners she is flying along at the same level. Legs are searching for the ground and pushing off in a switching unison of right and left. Her face is there, full expression focused but a wash of calm is slick everywhere. She knows what she is doing. There is no lean at the line nor pull back before it, she just ran across and decelerated with ease rather then the flimsy fall apart of finishing any distance race. She is just fun to watch run.

Track Talks

1/2/12

“It’s only one hill” A veteran of the race describing the Mt. Washington Road Race

New Years Day

1/1/12

Runners do this anyway. They always try to improve, even if that is in reference to how well they depreciate. They strive for excellence, of body or mind but often both, and sometimes, most often in personal ways, we find that achievement. To New Years, a day to recall that we can all be purified by water or born from ashes like Phoenixes!

Hidden race

12/31/11

It was pretty neat, kind of a secret for those who knew what they were watching. To fill you in, let me back up about an hour. I was playing with my phone, checking an email or something, and a friend that I know through running, Darin Brown, snuck up on me to wave his hand in my face while I wasn't paying attention. A quick hey, smile, bro-hug and we are off talking about what brought us both to the 3rd and final Boston University “Mini-Meet”.

The BU meets are held in the Month of December, and have been running a handful of years now that I know. Today’s last meet is held as usual on a Saturday. What was rather interesting is that this Saturday fell on the last day of the year. Instead of saying all the corny things about how it allowed runners to make a last ditch at a PR for the year, I will say that if you were there you could feel the energy. On the last day of the year, a collective knowledge is almost everywhere in the world but amongst all runners it was palpable.

So Darin explains that he is racing the 3k today, and before long he goes about starting his warm up. However, we got in a good chat first. He says he is in his last year of 40-44 Master’s USATF age group and that the standards are going to get easy pretty soon for All-American. He explains he is hopeful that today he will do it in his current age category and asks for hand with splits.

The time passes and we are watching the race unfold. Darin is on pace through the 15 lap race up to laps 10 or 12, 40 seconds per lap which is pretty much dead on, but then he falters. He hits a couple of slow laps and I yell he needs to pick it up and he does. The last laps are a true back and forth battle with Jen and I cheering away as he cruises by each time. It ends as Darin kicks in strong with a 9:56 high time, over three seconds under the qualifying standard. He didn’t win the race, but he did something great and only a handful of us there knew what we were seeing. We got to enjoy, and be part of, a race that no one knew was happening. Here is a little secret from me to you; one of the greatest aspects to running is being a spectator to someone's effort because it allows you to participate in their struggles and their triumphs.

Haikulometer

12/30/11

Run the run runner
Drive over the ground further
Finish, pant, drink, rest

Run awake

12/29/11

It’s a fine space, a little trove hidden inside us. Going there in the regular world, unless you are a professional philosopher, would be counterproductive. You need to interact with people if you are around people and that is why it is not always used during the run. Sometimes you will be talking or engaged in some music or whatnot. However, that quiet taciturn side is full of reflection and understanding. Using the run to gain that end is one of my favorite ways to go about the exercise. A sort of selfish grab at an honesty of yourself only found lost amongst the demanding “have to do this” thoughts that pre-occupy a good amount of waking time.

The issue of meaning

12/28/11

It is sad to say it, but some people run and don’t enjoy it. I am not talking about people who do it for only health reasons and have not found fulfillment in the run. I am talking about people that run / race now but earlier in life fell in love with racing, so running then began to define whole aspects of them and then got burned out emotionally. They still race and run because of pressure. Pressure for money, such as college scholarships and prize money, and pressure from people, like parents and coaches but also socially for those that are in younger years (13-23), whom are looked at in this one major way by their peers. They have lost the meaning in the run and we can only hope they find it again, like we hope that a person just exercising and hating running might get bitten by the bug.

Everything I have seen I have seen before.

12/27/11

Interesting. An idea that sums up this feeling during the hard parts of races or workouts, a sort of De-Ja-Vu. It doesn’t happen every time, or anything like that, but there is something pervasive about the feeling. Tugging you in, it says “come be with me again.” Then it happens, a sort of waking vision that I know these steps, I know these breaths! Yes, there it is a breaking into self that has always known this kind of work. And then it is done, leaving you panting, maybe puking, and lost to the feeling already.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

12/26/11

A being can’t decide everything! Fortune gives her issuance, “jump, kill, love, muster nothing or perhaps questing runs” so this underlying variable willfully xamines your zeal.

It’s the most wonderful…

12/25/11

As a kid, the Christmas excitement could keep me up so late. Of course I would intend to stay right up to morning time, so anxious to just see what was under the tree. However, as a young child I could not stay awake that long. Then later, after progressing into teenage years where I could actually stay up all night at will, I would fight to sleep in a bit, until I was hurried to get up in the morning by my younger siblings.

It is funny how that was about races, too. So excited to run a race, I had a hard time sleeping the previous night. I know I did that, through High School and even in college a bit but I can’t remember when it stopped. It has been a while that I cared so much about a race, actually a few years. Even though I highly doubt Christmas will be exactly like that again I feel fairly good about a racing return.