Doug Deep

My brother, Doug Dagan, is accomplished. From trekking across a Costa Rican rain forest to attending a United Nations conference on climate change with diplomatic status; he is a worldly traveler. He is also a graduate of the esteemed Middlebury College, taught Chemistry/Physics at two different private schools and is now studying Environmental Law at Vermont Law. Oh yeah, and while gaining a law degree at VLS he is going to Yale Grad school too.

He is gifted in many ways; intelligent, articulate, kind and strong. But his best blessing is his determination. As much as he was given it was his determination, which sometimes can mask itself as stubbornness, which allowed all those accomplishments. He was determined on his goals, clear and set.

So when my big brother came to me and said, “I want to run a marathon”, I said something to the effect of yeah you can definitely do that. For me, it was as matter of fact as an afterthought, implicit in its nature. Similar to questions such as do you like butter or how nice is the smell of fresh cut grass. Cliché basic answers to the good things in life and the possible things too. I knew that despite his trepidation, which barely echoed in his words when he talked about the endeavor, he could do it if he set his mind to do it.

It is noteworthy to respect the fact that my brother is a bear of a man. The solid oak legs ripple with grace when he regularly works out but in no way is he slender. To paint a picture: a few Thanksgivings ago my brother, laughing at how small I was (155 lbs), grabbed me under the ribcage to throw and catch me in the air a few times. He actually laughed while doing it! Needless to say my brother does not have a ‘runners build’.

When the race came my brother met the bleak day nervously. Shaking it off, he came to mile six smiling at a mix of relations; brothers, sisters and niece. Getting excited, he kind of dances back and forth, pointing his thumbs to himself saying, “You know why my legs hurt? From kicking so much ASS!!!!” Laughing and cheering he is urged on.

Still chuckling I hop in; joining my brother in support and with a backpack stashed with a couple supplies. We trek onwards with good spirits for the next few miles. There is a light hearted bantering that ensues, at one point my brother locks onto a female’s derrière as a sort of towing vehicle. However, somewhere around half-way it gets serious. There comes a look of fear as a huge splash of doubt sweeps through his tired face; there is a cut-off time at mile 20 and my brother is scared now that he won’t be there in time.

With words as my whip, I break him into a 30 sec run 30 sec jog/shamble. Rep after rep, I urge him on, as he pants away leaving a small stream of sweat. We would talk, but most of the time there was a sense of nonsensical even when he was asking for something he needed. At one point chaffing sets in and I am off through the hundreds of athletes spread around us, begging runners for Vaseline or Body Glide. Finding the latter I head back to him, as he sloppily swipes it under his raw arm pits. Later, I search for an anti-inflammatory. All the while coming back, for another 30 sec on or 30 sec off depending what was due. And so the next seven laborious miles passed for Doug.

The bridge approached in due course and a real sense of relief could be felt as we passed its’ threshold. A sort of fun came back into the race. The next six miles we partook in eating doughnuts, having gummy bears and even drinking beer. He finished the Marathon in 6:38:58 and 20,778 out 21,023 finishers (not starters) which in terms of running isn’t stellar time, but to me it was an awesome journey and an amazing feat for Doug.

My small part was completely of giving of myself to my brother. If you don’t already, you should know he had to give of himself too, and in far more a difficult way. He dug deep and found something inside himself he was unsure existed; a person who could do a marathon. Later he would say he couldn’t have made it with out me, and I don’t know if that’s true or not. What is true is he couldn’t have made it without himself, because when he dug deep his search found nothing less than new boundaries to his soul, and that which he gave of himself was the limits he had set on that beautiful spirit.
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