Heated debate

Water lightly tossed from cupped hands drips rolling over bent head and onto porcelain only inches away from my face. The sink in the locker room at the Bangor Track’s stadium collects the water that is repeatedly brought to bear over brow. Hottest workout of the year so far and no real acclimation to this weather has occurred. I am debating whether to quit while ahead and do the rest of the work tomorrow. I am already coming here to do 6 x 200 tomorrow afternoon, however, I am also swinging by with Jen in the morning to time her through a workout before she has to go to work. Knowing I can sneak in a hard 600 tomorrow morning I walk out on the track to think a bit.

The sun goes to work on the water that has draped itself from head down neck, chest and abdomen then to make water marks slipping like upside down shadows of mountains on my shorts. At this point of the season, favoring my psychology and doing what comes easiest while still getting the work done is the right call. Heading home happy I will return 18hours from now to finish what I started.

Athletic acquaintances

Walking back from McDonald's, McDouble with mac sauce bagged up for later and sipping some Barq’s root beer we hear a loud "Hey!" Randy Macdonald, not of the franchise but local runner and firefighter yells down at us from the second story window of the Bangor fire department. Jen and I smile and wave back at the man’s effortless greeting as he hums along over the belt of a treadmill. Not that we know him particularly well or anything, but there is so much community in a greeting from a fellow runner. A reminder that we share something so primal and ancestral with each human, our amazing ability to run, and that some of us today still use that ability. Earlier today, a coach of the local running team, Peter Lodge, drove past us offering a quick greeting as we walked our dogs. Then when we get home, a young man and high school athlete from our time in the Mount Washington Valley, Peter Haine, friend-requested Jen on Facebook. Maybe I'm a little corny, but I like that sense of community. I like, all puns intended, running into our friends from the past.

May 22, 2011 – May 28, 2011

Week 4/8 Phase IV

Sun, May 22
Day off

Mon, May 23
An easy 28ish min

Tue, May 24
An easy 26ish minutes with four strides

Wed, May 25
J 2 x (200, (400jog) 800 (1600 jog) 200 (800 jog) )
35, 2:30, 35, 37, 2:29. 33
B 800 time trial
1:58.4

Thu, May 26
Jen ran the warmup and cool down and I did 5 x200
30, 28, 28, 29, 28, my calf twinged during the 4th 200 and that is why I did 5 not 6

Fri, May 27
We met up and then Jen did three strides and we called it at 20min easy

Sat, May 28
Jen did a 5k in 20:07 and then she did 2 x 200, 300, 38, 34, 53
My calf was still hurting a bit so I cut the workout back just a bit
4 x 200 with 2min rest 600 8min rest 600
32, 31, 32, 32, 1:37. 1:27.4

thoughts of a d1 runner...

sometimes i find myself running, maybe for all the wrong reasons. perhaps to prove i can do something grand, perhaps away from something, or because i'm being told to.

so i miss another kind of running. let me expound;

i miss those feverish days when i ran to feel better, albeit to return to that fever. i miss quiet snowy days and nights, slippery roads blackened with ice, cars personified; get off the road! i miss succumbing to that pungent spring weather with fat droplets of rain. i miss getting lost in the woods alone. those scraggly trees whooshing by so quick, whispering to me; better get home before it gets dark little girl…my shins, engraved by those sticky thorns. i miss those running days just to run my kind of run…

maybe it's the freedom that i miss.

(posted by jennifer dagan)

3pm on Friday

Slippery from sweat, from sun and from hot sticky air as I move past cars filled with silent stares at strides, at man and at runner. The spongy air creates a heightened tactual experience, vaguely akin to the horrible sensation of running in a dream and not getting anywhere except I am moving. Moving down roads strode countless times before. Same run done is different this time I begun. The air, its smell, from the way I sweat I could tell, it's 80 degrees for the first time in Bangor this year.

Howdy Partnah

The awareness of an acute sting in my calf brings me around somewhat tentatively in a 29.3 200meter. The last two 200’s were 28’s and this one felt fine except for my calf. Saying to Jen that my calf is bothering me, but recognizing I still have two more 200’s, we hash out my desire to get today’s scheduled work done and the prudence of quitting while ahead. She doesn’t have a track workout today so she came to time me. As with a lot of things in life, compromise is the best call and as with a lot of things in life I don’t see that option right away. Jen points out “hidden option c” and once again affirms how invaluable an objective and knowledgeable training partner can be. Finishing the next and last 200 in 28.1 I realize not only is this the best call but that I am doubly lucky because my training partner is also a loving life partner. Doesn't hurt that she is easy on the eyes either.

A running matter

Three people stand around, one camera and two watches. Watches watch running, a video records, lungs coordinate lunging legs. Two laps, four curves and one straight away that really matters. Matt leads down that straight, guiding me to the finish. Stepping into the second lane, acid assaults my anatomy as I lumber on. Coordination is fumbling with limbs heavy from today’s passion. I don’t care, not about the shitty feeling in my body, not about the fact that I will be retching from the effort afterwards and not about giving up. None of that matters. I care about the finish and so I do in 1:58.4. It was a good day to PR.

Haikulometer

One step two step more
Lungs heart legs united now
Life united now

Reality check

Sweet, strong gusts, smell of rain. The heaviness to the air, from the low barometric pressure that preludes a deluge, is thick throughout the course of the day and yet no rain. The ritual end of work phone call, starting me out the door, rings at 7:01pm and crossing the green lawn in a few strides I am glad that there is a greeting of drizzling rain. It is the end of May, about 50degrees and most people cant find any reason to be happy for that kind of weather. Me, I like to have my sensory perception validated. If it hadn’t rained, and with senses being tuned for rain to come all day, something would just seem off. Like watching a movie everyone says is funny and yet you find yourself not appreciating the humor. When the movie finishes, you find yourself looking for something funny for hours after. Cold wet rain, unseasonable as it may be, reassures reality and so is welcome.

May 15, 2011 – May 21, 2011

Solid week of training

Week 3/8 Phase IV

Sun, May 15
Day off

Mon, May 16
Overcast raining to start and then drizzling occasionally, 47 degrees, 13mph winds
J~ 200, 400, 2 x 200, 400, 200
32, 71, 2 x 34, 68, 33
B ~ 4 x 200 (2min rest after each 200), 3 x 600 (8 then 15min rest after 1st adn 2nd 600 respectively)
2x 32, 33, 32 1:38, 1:28.2, 1:28.9

Tue, May 17
An easy 26ish minutes

Wed, May 18

B~ 6 x 200 (in the morning and with about 3min rest)
2 x 30, 2 x 28, 27, 28 (the 4th and 6th were from regular NOT flying starts)
We met up later that night after 15min and then ran another 10 while J did 4 strides

Thu, May 19
Overcast 61 degrees 9mph wind and occasional rain
J ~ 10min AT 2minrest 4x600 with 1min rest then 25min rest 800
6:30 at mile picked up pace, 2:03, 2:05, 2:05, 2:07, 2:36 (kids forced her off track)
B ~ an easy 20ish

Fri, May 20
Met up after 15 and then B did 3 strides and we did a total of 22ish running

Sat, May 21
50 degrees 9mph wind (7:10pm we started)
J ~ 400 7:30min 400 7:30min 400 all with about 3min rest
74, 6:22 @ mile, 72, 6:25 @ mile, 73.1
B ~ 1K, 1minR, 1K, 1minR,1K,1minR,1K,2minR, 1K, 3minR, 400, 3minR, 400
3:19, 3:18, 3:23, 3:04, 3:05, 59.low/58.high 57.low

Easier not faster

Today was the last day of week three of eight for phase four, the final phase of outdoor training. We might push the phase a little longer to do some track meets in Augusta that start in July. Extending the phase means putting off our yearly running break, but it’s not a big deal. To stick with our yearly plan, we don’t have to take a break until September. Regardless, three weeks into a new phase of training means I have started to acclimate to the workload. Today was a prime example.
I repeated the workout of the prior two weekends. It wasn’t that I ran so much faster, which would undermine the theme of this phase of training. Rather, I accomplished today’s workout slightly faster then the previous two, but far more comfortably. Comfort is the point of this phase. The paces that have been established and worked on in the previous months fall into perspective now. The goal is to accomplish workouts with minimal stress while still running the appropriate training times. In some ways, the workouts become like watching a TV show. Its not that you have to really work to pay attention, you pretty much just have to show up and not fall asleep. Ok, maybe it is a little harder than that, the point is now races and time trials are the days for all out efforts, not workouts. Workouts shouldn’t get faster they should get easier.

Third time's a charm

Tight and tense I was excited for the evening run. Today, life’s drama followed me everywhere and no matter of thinking was making me feel any better. After Jen’s call saying she was leaving work, I eagerly turned to exercise for its great escape. Running to meet her and then after we met up doing strides, the relief I sought was not found. At home, post run, typing this I am annoyed. So I turn to my next favorite mood relaxation technique, third to contemplation and working out; a glass of fabulously fermented liquid.

Season’s Greetings

Backpack loaded with two hardboiled eggs, 20oz of Gatorade, keys, spikes, and long sleeve. Out the door and wearing too much gear, sweat and humidity smoosh. Sticky and eight minutes into the run, we strip down the extra layers leaving them as make shift scarecrows casually sprawled over the chain link fence running the perimeter of Bangor’s track. Against the grain and against the fence we continue a casual warm up clockwise around the outside lane of the track. The humidity, gathering school kids, and melodic nature of today’s warm up brings a fact forefront; outdoor track is in full swing.

Dagan’s double back

Meeting Jen just over halfway, we return the way I came to go home. Spotting her on the opposite side of the road, a few hundred meters ahead, is the best part of my evening so far. Phone rings, it’s 9:08pm and Jen is starting her run home. It is 8pm and I am sitting here writing this to kill time before my second run to meet Jen on her way home from work. The hard boiled egg I am finishing on my walk home is washed down by strongly mixed and so extra sweet Gatorade. The last two hundred smoothly slipped by and Jen and I are starting to walk our dogs home. “I am going to relax on this final bout” I say to Jen, “that last one was too fast, a 27 mid.” My fourth rep is a regular start instead of on the fly (running start) and I run a 28low. I adjust from warming up and nail a 28 mid for my third round. “The first two were 30’s,” I tell her before starting bout number trois. My second 200 feels better then the first but the time is the same. The body warming up, but not in full sync, I take the first 200 as a long stride. Jen met me at the track with our pups while I finished my warm up. “Im thinking of doing a double today, six by 200 at around 800meter pace in the morning and still meeting you for a run tonight on the way home from work.” I know that getting Jen to walk the dogs and hang out at the track might shake her justifiable grouchiness. Jen gets home from a bs hour staff meeting at 9am and is grumpy because she has to go back to work from 1-9.

Fool in the rain

Droplets that are so intrusive at first become less so, as warmth pumps through veins at heightened circulatory levels. Coming down with fresh intensity at the beginning of the run, a trick of the senses created by moving through the rain, an echoing impulse to grab another layer from inside is dismissed. Perhaps to combat this weakened resolve, a little surge is placed where it normally wouldn’t be. Running to drown out the rain at first, and then in a rhythmic and methodic fashion a growing sense of freedom comes from braving the elements and joy from having made it through that awkward start up time. As the rendezvous spot approaches I realize that the rain has stopped, as I greet Jen I have no clue when the precipitation ended.

Feels like 41 degrees

Socks wrapped around clammy hands, drawing occasional funny glances from high schoolers, are not missed by feet. The water, already pooling and trickling on the track and also raining down, runs with varying volume through spikes made tighter to feet by being wet. Feet, cold and disconnected but still integral to every step would not appreciate a wet sock in the mix.

Preparing for the last bout, a 600, I remove the socks from my hands, along with the rest of my warm up gear. The rain stopped somewhere during the recovery run after my last bout but I am still wet. The weather website read 47 degrees, drizzling and 13mph wind but feels like 41 degrees. I don’t know how they figure that out, maybe some algorithm comparing wind, temperature, and humidity but spot on today. Reminding myself to run strong, but to keep the bout in perspective, I take off.

As I am working along, little adages like stay loose, run the curve and lift with your arms repeat themselves like mantras. And my feet, moving with artistic finesse and laborers determination slap along numb underneath my hot body. Poor feet didn’t have a chance to really get warm today, not properly, during these short bouts and the recovery runs weren’t intense enough to heat them up. Numb but there pushing off strong long legs, are cold feet. This afternoon, my feet were frozen in temperature but not in time, and so too they were numb in feeling but not in doing.

A running dream

Clock’s light golden yellow digits read an unblinking 5:12am. Relaxing eye lids rather than a forceful closing, and loosening conscious thought, sleep settles in again. The track’s grainy but sure footing is holding me up and an unusual calm brightness is everywhere. I am sore, I am not ready for a work out, I am nervous and I am dreaming. The clock stares at me 6:11am but it only seemed like a moment. The stiffness from yesterday’s workout resonates through me, even lying in bed. Today is my day off; I don’t have a workout, an easy run or even some core exercises. Once more relaxing eyes and loosening consciousness’ grip, the uncanny feeling settles in that today’s dream makes it seem like it’s not quite a day off at all.

May 8, 2011 – May 14, 2011

Week 2/8 Phase IV

A great week of training! Wind was tough, but we had some sunshine which was awesome
Sun, May 8
Day off

Mon, May 9
An easy 26ish

Tue, May 10
An easy 26ish with 4 good strides

Wed, May 11
Weather ~ 55 degrees, 24mph wind, gusting to 30mph, slightly overcast
J ~ 2 x 200, 5min AT, 2 x 200, 5min AT, 2 x 200 (about 2min rest after each bout)
2 x 36, 4:44 @ 1200, 2 x 34, 4:43 @ 1200, 2 x 36
B ~ 4 x 200 with 2min rest
3 x 32, 31

Thu, May 12
61 degrees sunny and 10mph wind
J 2 x (5min AT, 4min rest, 200, 5min rest, 800 12 min rest)
4:46 @ 1200, 34, 2:34, 4:43 @ 1200, 34, 2:32
B 4 x 200,with2minrest 3 x 600 with 8-15min rest, 200
31, 32, 33, 32, 1:37, 1:28.4, 1:27.6, 29
“lightning” core ~ 2 x (30sec pushup into 30 sec uglys) into 1min plank

Fri, May 13
We met up after 14 min and then ran to Wal Mart for 40ish+min total

Sat, May 14
Overcast and drizzling occasionally, 54 degrees, 7mph winds
J ~ 5min At, 200, 600, 5min AT, 200, 500 (same recovery scheme as Thursday’s w/o)
4:46 @ 1200, 34, 1:52, 4:47 @ 1200, 34, 1:29.1
B ~ 1K, 1minR, 1K, 1minR,1K,1minR,1K,2minR, 1K, 3minR, 400, 3minR, 400
3:23, 3:23, 3:25, 3:05, 3:04, 59.2, 57.mid/low

Hoofin' it

Tucked tight against lower back and strapped across chest, backpack turning running man into artistic turtle moving like hare. Music in ears, ipod in hands, sun in eyes, on shoulders, beaming off brow. Backpack filled with re-usable bags later filled with Wal Mart goods.

Running to meet Jen and the two of us then off again, Wally world bound. This in a unique way is truly liberating. Since we retired our car, and are using the limited Bangor Area Transportation, we have been duck tailing runs to get things done. Running home from work and shopping mostly and in some ways these little acts link us back to something much more self sufficient. I feel it now running to Wal Mart to do our shopping, even if we take the bus home after.

One day at a time

Sixty-one degrees and ten miles per hour winds felt like a vacation during the workout. Taking our time and leaving our warm ups by the finish line, rather than hastily donning them in between reps, we cantered easily during our recovery runs. After my third 600meter repeat, a nice 1:27.6, we talked to a friend and local HS coach by the water fountain. He remarked that today’s weather was fleeting, and the week starting in the next few days is claimed to be dreary, rainy and clammy. Sitting at home typing this, Jen sporting an upper thigh tan line courtesy of this afternoon's pair of hip huggers, I can’t seem to care.

I listen to the reason, to the reason of my mind

Tough workout planned for today. We want good times just the running problem of weather. Winds at twenty four miles per hour with thirty miles per hour gusts, overcast skies and fifty four degrees are what greet us at the track. We know tomorrow’s forecast with winds at sixteen miles per hour, no clouds and sixty eight degrees. Some days you run, some days you think. Pushing the rugged workout until tomorrow and doing a lighter workout today is just a thought. At first. Turns out, today it is more important to think and tomorrow it will be more important to run.

Running with the night

The air does not so much part, as I part the air. Striding boldly across a route 95 overpass, cars below seem somehow slow in response to my pace, and I am part of the night. My stride breaks after 25 seconds and I continue forward at a more relaxed clip. A minute to kill before I surge again, a car’s bright beams has my right hand placed beside my face to blind me from the light. The light, almost an intruder on my night run by separating me from the dark and again an intruder by robbing me of my night vision. The car is past, cumbersome light rolling away and I am part of the night again.

Running Rich

Left out of driveway
small beep as finger meets immovable plastic
that the button retracted into
and numbers tracking my tracks move on my wrist.
Building momentum for first few steps,
then steady down streets so commonly tread
deja vu is an aspect of running them.
While the world's calling on you
lessens the senses react.
A quid pro quo that is most desirable.
Losing mundane problems,
while gaining insight on the ones that you calmly dwell on,
mixes with a profound sense of smell, sight, sound, touch and even taste
as a smoky bbq or crisping garlic bread’s steam wafts by
and you feel the smell in your mouth,
as I imagine a dog does.
The running experience brings about,
if even only briefly on some outings,
a richer or fuller connection with life.

May1, 2011 – May 7, 2011

Pretty good week of training, 1st week of an 8 week phase IV

Sun, May 1
An easy 28ish minutes then
J ~ 2 x 3 ols/ 60sec of planks and then uglys
B ~ 2 x 5 ols/60sec of planks then uglys


Mon, May 2
Off day

Tue, May 3
An easy 26ish with 4 good strides

Wed, May 4
Weather ~ 48 degrees, 9mph wind, overcast and misting rain
J ~ 3 x (2 x 200, 400)
35,35,72,35,35,72,36,35,72

B ~ 4 x 200, 3 x 600, 2 x 200 (last 200 was a regular start)
2 x 34, 32, 33, 1:41, 1:31.7, 1:28.4, 28.3, 28.high

Thu, May 5
J 2 x 200 5min AT 2 x 200 5min AT 2 x 200 (about two min rest after the 200’s and the 5min AT)
2 x 38, 4:33 @ 1200, 2 x 37, 4:30 @ 1200, 38 37

B 6 x 200
30, 29, 4 x 28

Fri, May 6
We met 13min in and then ran the rest of the way home pretty much 25ish

Sat, May 7 Sunny, 63 degrees, 16mph winds gusting to 23mph. I love the plateau that BHS’s track is on!
J ~ 5 x 600 starting every 3min (so less then 60sec rest)
2:07, 2:10, 2:10, 2:17, 2:12
B ~ 1K, 1minR, 1K, 1minR,1K,1minR,1K,2minR, 1K, 3minR, 400, 3minR, 400
3:25, 3:24, 3:26, 3:08, 3:07, 57.9, 59.1

I listen to the wind, to the wind of my soul

The “mini plateau” home to Bangor High’s track is about a mile from our place. Working out there has one clear fact; there is pretty much always wind. Training in wind is commonly seen in two respects. One, it’s a bummer. You are always a little lagged, adjusting 400’s by a second or two to take this factor into consideration. The other view on wind running is it makes you tougher. When the restraint of wind is removed, as it surely will be at other tracks, you will have the advantage of this new found freedom of movement. However, for me there is also hidden option c; it is what it is. The wind blows, and I run and one is not going to change with respect to the other.

Taking the Time

Zigzagging then straight. Bee line to the rock, ninety degree turn, kind of hop momentum falls around properly. Quick step quick step. Maybe to the people watching me cut my imaginary obstacle course through the creamy green lawn, that flows velvety in between the trees, I look funny. This park some half a dozen blocks from our apartment, a long rectangle with tall trees playing at connect the dots on the perimeter, and a light heart affords me this spontaneity. I don’t run for spectators, I would be doing this at midnight on a Tuesday with no one around. So I will be damned if I don’t exude my spirit just because they are there. Don’t forget the pleasure of taking the time on an easy run to have fun and run with sheer joy. Just run, where the heart wants to and where the voices in the head say too.

Back to Back Workouts & Weather

The sense of invincibility, that always accompanies adrenaline, slips in. Months of hard work are self actualizing through the ease of running the last 200 meters; twenty-eight point something. I keep the clock running so I don’t know and don’t really care. A lingering misty rain and 50 something degree air prods me to start running again. The water in the air almost has the effect of coming from the ground and feels more like light spray off a boat than something falling from the sky. While the precipitation is more pervasive, overall the weather is less intrusive than yesterday. Today, just 200’s, is maybe a dozen degrees warmer with no real wind to speak of, whereas yesterday’s workout, with several hard reps, was a struggle full of bad weather mingled with internal anxiety over the psychologically and physiologically demanding running to be undertaken. Today, the run is almost a track athlete’s dream. As I said earlier, it was misting and my bout was six by 200. After an easy warm up, I had the pleasure of having this piece of cake walk. The times read 30,29,28,28,28,28 and I took two to three minutes rest in between. It wasn’t a hard workout but even better, it felt that way. The times felt good, I feel good and I feel strong. Today was about working smarter not harder and I’m left with something in the tank. This knowledge and feeling has me dwelling on possibilities.

Rain rain stay awwww.......... crap

48 degrees, nine mile per hour wind and a misting rain appearing periodically. It was hardly a deluge of cats and dogs but the weather was still a running issue. Looking back on the workout, Jen and I were fine organic spinach or radishes in a perfectly controlled biosphere for vegetables located in a pretentious whole food store. Laid with glistening water to show, and soon as dry again, sprinklers set with measured accuracy to the anticipated evaporation rate would turn on. Regardless how carefully we removed and put back on our clothing we ended up cold, wet and relieved when done the last rep. Running until warm, I warmer then Jen, and then walking, we are through the workout and a half mile from our place. The times were a bit slow because of the weather, but we did it. Because we wanted to do it and out of that maybe we get something. We didn’t get good weather today and we didn’t get the times we wanted, we were close but off. I guess you can’t always get what you want. But we tried this time, guess we find, we get what we need.

strides

Strides. Mini workouts snuck in twice a week in the middle or at the end of easy runs. We use them after easy running, as part of our warm up, but finishing the last one five or ten minutes before a 1500 or 800 race or workout. They are 15 to 40 seconds long and can vary from 10k pace to as fast as 800pace. The first two or three will normally be around 5k-1500 pace progressing towards 800 pace on our last one or two. We will do as many as six but far more often do four. Around 10pm tonight, chucking along to greet me, Jen will wait to do her strides until I take the bag she is toting home from work. I will start to mix in strides after the first six or seven minutes of easy running. This is sooner in the run then I normally add in strides but I want to accomplish them without the bag Jen is wearing now. One stride starting every two minutes (so around 90sec rest) with mellow running in between each stride gets me ready for the next one. When I see the led light’s friendly approach, Jen’s patient and sure breath piping her along with bag underneath a reflector vest, I will do my last stride. This will be fun and exact, joyous legs whirl quickly stepping lightly pavement bounces me forward with one light hearted thought; together again!

SPF 20

While the new year rings in January, there is something truly new to the calendar year the first day you think "sunscreen". After walking the pups an hour and fifteen minute this morning, we hoofed it around Bangor running some errands this afternoon. Walking bald, or relatively so, Jen grabs my arm concerned, "should we get sunscreen" laughing, I counter, "no we'll be fine". Now I'm not so sure. The first good day of sun can have those hours between unsure folly and sure pain. I will wait and see. But sunburn or not, it so damn good to think "sunscreen" if for no other reason then the warm weather it indicates and the impending summer around the bend.

Phase IV Outdoor 11

This is the first day of our 8 week Phase IV outdoor ’11 season. Its just an easy day, we will meet after two miles to do the last two or so together. But it is the beginning of eight weeks of training. I like beginnings, crackling possibilities popping ideas probing the query; what will really happen? What is that quantum theory adage, dwell on the possibilities and collapse on the one. Try telling that to the Patriots after they had their perfect season but lost the Superbowl. “You needed to focus more on the “you winning” possibility.” Upon which you are body speared off the premise. But fundamentally, in most winning versus losing, training talent and interferences equal, the person with better focus gets the win. In competitions with all things being equal, you pretty much find out who has, during that bout, game, match, fight, meet, or run the truest desire. But if winning is the only way to show true desire then the majority of people are out there half assing it for exercise or social reasons. There is something exciting about the work of the next eight weeks coming together, knowing what was desired in some form will come to pass and your achievements are always accessible and forever stored in the past. Pleasure forms itself from knowledge that many days of hard work, like the different ants comprising the greater collective colony, make up this phase, not just a handful of races or time trials. Where as the former statement to the Pats might not be welcome, but none the less true, to say to the Patriots, “You didn’t have enough desire that season” would just be false.